chapter 2: What I say to myself matters

Acts 23:1 – “Then Paul, looking earnestly at the council, said, ‘Men and brethren, I have lived in all good conscience before God until this day.’”

1 Peter 3:16-17 – “16having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed. 17For it is better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.”

In the verses above, we see two different looks at the conscience. First, we see Paul, who’d persecuted Christians prior to his conversion (Acts 8-9) but felt no shame about it during that time. He’d been taught improperly, and therefore his conscience hadn’t been properly trained.

If trained properly, though (see 1 Peter 3), I can learn to rely on my conscience when I need to make decisions quickly.

Am I hiding God’s Word in my heart? What does that mean? What am I doing to ensure it’s easy to recall God’s Word at critical times in my life when days are hard or when I need to make a quick decision?

Psalm 119:11 – “Your word I have hidden in my heart, That I might not sin against You.”

How often am I reading God’s word? If a friend – at church or in the world – asks me about a religious topic, can I easily find a Bible passage to answer the question, or do I immediately point the person to the preacher or, even worse, simply tell the person “I’m not sure” or “I don’t know” and hope I won’t be asked about it again.

When 1 Peter 3:15 says to “be ready always to give an answer,” it isn’t referring to giving an answer to every question that’s asked. In context, the verse refers to being ready to tell others about the reason for your hope. We should always be ready to explain why we believe what we believe, because it demonstrates our hope.

That doesn’t mean, however, that I’m off the hook and can ignore study or feel ok not knowing where things are located within the Bible. 2 Timothy 2:15 tells us clearly that if we wish to be approved before God, we must study. Studying and reading aren’t the same. Are you regularly completing a superficial reading of a few verses from your Bible, but not regularly studying it? Do you often do a quick reading of a chapter from your Bible to check off your to-do list for the day, but rarely really dig in to make sure you understood what you read? God doesn’t want our leftovers. He has always required our firstfruits (Ezekiel 44:30).

Over the next few days, think carefully about when your mind is most alert and able to study effectively, and make sure that is when you schedule time to read and study. Don’t leave study time for moments when you struggle to keep your eyes open or when you’re rushed to do something else.

1 Timothy 1:5: “Now the purpose of the commandment is love from a pure heart, from a good conscience, and from sincere faith”

Is my heart pure?
Is my faith sincere?
What am I doing to ensure this?

My conscience must be trained, or it can fail me.
Romans 2:14-15: “14for when Gentiles, who do not have the law, by nature do the things in the law, these, although not having the law, are a law to themselves, 15 who show the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and between themselves their thoughts accusing or else excusing them)”

If I don’t train my conscience properly, it will be no better than the conscience of someone in the world. My internal talk is influenced by all I see, listen to, and read. If I don’t make an effort to see, listen to, and read materials God would approve of, my conscience will be “seared” (1 Timothy 4:2) as if by a “hot iron.” The people in this verse didn’t even see lying as wrong anymore.

STOP AND THINK:
Are there things I’m ignoring because my conscience has stopped even noticing them anymore?
At home?
At work?
At school?
Even in my own congregation?

For instance, was there a time when I would immediately flip the television channel when I heard a curse word (or other form of ungodliness) but now I don’t notice or excuse it?

Was there a time when I tried to engage in conversations at work about the Bible, but now I avoid “touchy” topics?

Was there a time when I would speak up when I heard a brother or sister gossip or speak ill of someone but now I try hard to avoid tough conversations? Or do I avoid certain brothers or sisters altogether because I’m nervous about what topics they’ll bring up? (We’ll talk about that more in a future chapter.)

What else can I think of that I’m not engaging in as actively as I used to and that my conscience doesn’t seem as alarmed about as it should be?

…

If my conscience doesn’t seem properly trained now (or maybe never has been), it’s time dig into the word!

Remember what the Psalmist said, through the Holy Spirit:
Psalm 119:11-12 – “11Your word have I hidden in my heart, That I might not sin against you, 12Blessed are You, O Lord! Teach me Your statutes.”

I can’t pull from a conscience that isn’t properly trained with God’s word. And if I’m not daily filling my mind with God’s word, then it’s no wonder that I’m ignoring opportunities to share God’s word with others and to strengthen my own love for God.

If my calendar of events from last month was projected on the screen in front of the congregation on Sunday morning, would I be proud of how I spent my time, or would I be ashamed of how little time I spent on godly events? Would I be embarrassed by the amount of time I spend watching programs I wouldn’t want a member of my congregation to watch along with me? Would I be embarrassed to let another member know that I missed services because I was at a ballgame or overslept? Would it bother me to see the totals for how many hours I’ve watched television (or been at the gym or read secular books or any other hobby) versus how many hours I’ve read my Bible?

In an average week, a typical congregation meets no more than four hours for Bible classes or worship assemblies. Do I find it hard even to make it to those services?

Would my calendar reflect that I care more about worldly things based on the amount of time I spend on them?

1 Timothy 5:8 and 2 Thessalonians 3:10 make it clear that working is honorable and important. Am I using work as an excuse, though, and prioritizing family finances over time with my church family? Am I choosing overtime and fancy houses and cars in exchange for less time in God’s word and with His people?

Matthew 6:19-21 – “19Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; 20but lay up for yourselves in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

If someone who didn’t know my name or anything about me analyzed my calendar, what would they say has my heart? Where would they say I’m laying up treasure? If I think that answer would be embarrassing, I should realize God already knows this answer. Consider what I can do to change it. 

Reflect on the past week:

HOW MANY DAYS LAST WEEK DID I STUDY GOD’S WORD?

WAS THIS A TYPICAL WEEK, OR DID I STUDY MORE OR LESS THAN IS NORMAL?

WHAT TIME OF DAY TYPICALLY WORKS BEST TO STUDY GOD’S WORD?

IF I’M NOT STUDYING AS MUCH AS I KNOW I SHOULD, WHAT DO I THINK WOULD POTENTIALLY HELP ME STUDY MORE? (examples: reminders – on my phone or otherwise; working with a group; having a clear study to follow; etc.)

…

The Bible tells us that what comes out of our mouths comes from our hearts first. If the time our families are spending on godly things is limited, it should come as no surprise when ungodly things come out of our mouths. We often excuse improper language choices or rude words as something we didn’t really think about, but that’s not true.

Matthew 12:34 says - “…34For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things.” Luke 6:45 says, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”

I can’t say something that isn’t first in your heart. It can’t get into my heart if I haven’t allowed myself to think, read, or listen to those things first. I’ll never say it if I don’t allow my heart to be influenced by it.