chapter 3: be still and know (1 of 2)

James 1:19-20: “19So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; 20for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (emphasis mine)

In the next two chapters, we’ll focus on being “swift to hear.” In other chapters, we’ll focus on being “slow to speak” and “slow to wrath.”

The word “swift” makes me think of a person racing toward opportunities to listen. If you read the verse in context, the focus is on contrasting listening with talking. Your goal is to listen eagerly, knowing that hearing the full story can prevent arguments and help you learn. When I was a little girl, my dad often traveled to preach gospel meetings and left us behind for a week. When he got home, I was “swift” to race toward the door to see him. Am I similarly excited to listen to my sisters and brothers, or am I often trying to fit in my own words instead? 

Philippians 2:4: “Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”

A person who’s racing toward opportunities to listen will look out for others’ interests. In the process of doing that, s/he’ll learn a lot about others, too.

Think about people you work with regularly or people who sit near you regularly in the church building. Could you tell someone else about some of their favorite things? Do you know about their favorite foods or drinks? 

While the verse in James says “hear,” the intended meaning is “listen.” Have you ever heard someone clearly but realized later that you didn’t really listen fully to what was said? Maybe it was a conversation you weren’t super interested in, or maybe you were internally distracted by something more important. We’ve all had moments when we potentially wanted to listen but didn’t.

One reason it’s tough to be a perfect listener is that thinking speed and speaking speed don’t typically match. While people typically speak 125 to 175 words a minute, God gave us the capacity to process between 400 and 800 words per minute (Hargie 2011). In the last decade, online video platforms have recognized this discrepancy and now allow you to watch videos at higher playback speeds. Since we can’t push the “increase speed” button in real life, our brains are often left with some extra time to fill while we’re engaged in interpersonal conversations. (NOTE: There is increasing research being done on attention span and "speed-watching." At least one reputable study indicates that people older than college age aren't as able to learn and remember content they listen to at higher speeds. See 2023 Article.) 

Have you ever nodded along pleasantly while your child was telling you an extended story, only to hear an excited, “Yay! Thank you, Mom!” and realize you agreed to something you aren’t quite sure about?

You heard your child talking, but didn’t listen to what was being said. And you may regret that when you’re headed to Chuck E. Cheese later that afternoon. (No rationally thinking Mom would say “yes” to Chuck E. Cheese, would she?!)

Word of caution: You can’t necessarily tell if someone is listening to you just by looking at his or her face. My husband is typically an excellent listener. Early in our marriage, we had several arguments, though, because I was confident he wasn’t paying attention to me. It’s normal for him not to look directly at me when I’m talking.

In certain cultures, it’s also rude to look someone directly in the eyes when speaking to them. If the person you’re addressing is in a more powerful position or is older than you, it would often be considered inappropriate to look directly at him/her if you were raised in such a culture. It’s also tough for some people who are neurodivergent (including people with autism and similar diagnoses) to give extended eye contact. For that reason, be careful making assumptions about listening and eye contact based solely on your own cultural background and/or listening style. Someone may be listening well and being extremely respectful, even if s/he is looking down or away while talking to you.

One way to improve your listening is to increase your focus on hearing during your week. Unless you have diminished hearing ability, your ability to sit quietly and hear is a treasured gift from God, and it should be something you spend time thanking Him for daily.

Take time this week to close your eyes and reflect quietly for five minutes. If possible, do this both outside and inside at separate times during the week.

1) What do you hear?

2) What are five specific things you are thankful for that you hear?

3) Say a prayer of thanks for the things that you hear.

4) Start, or continue, a gratitude journal for the things you hear daily.

5) See how many new things you begin to hear this week as you increase your focus on listening.

IDEA: When you’re outside this week, do specific things to concentrate more on the noises around you. Consider downloading a bird identifier app on your phone (like “Merlin”) and see if you can hear all the distinct birds that the app identifies. Thank God for each bird you hear.

Psalm 46:10 is one of my favorite verses, and I regularly recite the first line in my head when I start to feel overwhelmed and know I need to calm myself (“Be still and know that I am God…”).

Psalm 46:10
“Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”

Have you ever stopped to consider the meaning of this verse?

My husband talks about a time when he was an overly fidgety child, always eager to touch things and then take them apart. His dad would take him along for trips to area flea markets and then spend much of their trips saying, “Be still!” and “Don’t touch that!” I’m pretty sure those trips would’ve been easier for his dad without little Clayton along.

In our spiritual life, we can sometimes be like that. We pray – maybe even about something serious – and then become like flitting insects, never still enough to acknowledge God and His ability to help.

When the inspired writer in Psalm 46 says, “Be still, and know that I am God,” he isn’t simply saying, “Slow down and believe.” He is reminding the reader that in our meditation, we must acknowledge the sovereignty of the Father and follow through on the remainder of the verse as well (“I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”).

Take a look back at your gratitude journal as it develops. In what ways do the items you’re grateful for remind you of the greatness of God? In what ways do the items you’re thankful for remind you to worship God?